How to increase the ​effectiveness of engineering teams, lessons from Twitter

Steve Jobs once said, a line of code you don’t have to manage is a line of a code you didn’t write. What he meant was less code that does the same job is better than more code. But how do you make sure, as an engineering or product manager, that your developers are following the advice? Especially when teams and projects inside the company get bigger and more complex.

Andreas Klinger asked the exact same question on Twitter recently:

As you can see the actual question wasn’t about less code specifically but rather how to increase the effectiveness of engineering teams. Effectiveness is not directly related to speed. And some times they run counter to each other. But let’s just assume that Andreas meant overall productivity of the engineering teams. In that regard having less code is the ideal form of productivity tip. The problem, of course, is the inherent complexity in seemingly simple advice.

In many ways coding is like writing. Only you want computers to understand what you are trying to say. The good part is computers are not multi-dimensional thinkers like us. So if you write five lines to make it understand something instead of one it won’t complain. Or get any wrongful contextual messages hidden in those five lines. But that does not mean you should take advantage of the fact. For one this tendency will make your code lengthier and harder to manage. Second, at some point in time, another human will read your code. And …

So just because a piece of code is doing the job does not mean it can’t be better. Like writing, revisions can make it better. Always think of code that did the job as mere the first draft. It’s not wise to publish the first draft. The advice might seem counterintuitive because you are delaying deliberately. But it can go a long way in reducing the complexity and manageability of the code in the future.

The thread ensuing the tweet above is pretty good and I would encourage you to read yourself. Below is a summary of themes more prevalent than others with my unsolicited commentary.

Basecamp’s six-week cycle model over 2-weeks sprints: Here is the original blog post from Jason. The idea is, sprints result in rushed code because well you have to finish something in two weeks. Six weeks is a long enough timeframe to do deep work while short enough to manage.

We believe there’s a great six week version of nearly everything. — Jason Fried

No code reviews: I do get the sentiment but there is nothing inherently wrong with code reviews, IMO.

Provide an environment for deep work. No meetings: 👊

Use PR instead of a ticket: Yup, more Github, please.

Avoid refactoring: Joel Spolsky has more to say about this here.

Fix-it Fridays: 🤔

Quantify engineers’ work: It’s hard to quantify an engineer’s work in terms of revenue. User experience can be a good scale though. Another could be how clean, or less, the actual code is.

No Blame culture: Perhaps the root of all evils. Encourage your team to take responsibility not blame.

Mute Slack: ✔️

Remote work: Writing and coding are both better while you are alone.

Hire a PM or EM who gets people: Bingo.

Small teams: A team you can feed with no more than two pizzas is an ideal team.

Trust the devs: Trust is a two-way street. It’s easy to start giving it first than to expect.

Invest in tooling: Yes, iMacs and MacBooks, please. And if a MacBook is post-2016 than an accompanying keyboard too. 😛

Don’t staff a project with more than one person until the scope is well understood and work can be divided among different people with little to no communication. Mythical Man Month and all that: Couldn’t agree more.

Hire engineers who can write: Killer combination.

Aside

No Schedule Vs Pinned Tasks

Naval says (loosely paraphrased), it’s not about the book. It’s about the reader. Meaning one book can mean different to two people. And even to same person depending on when he/she reads it. I first read Marc Andreessen’s productivity guide at least two years ago (don’t remember the exact date but it wasn’t the last year or the one before). And the only thing I seem to remember from it was the idea of having just three lists.

  1. To do list
  2. To watch list
  3. And to latter list

First for things you need to do. Second for things you need to oversee. And third, for things you would do in a distant future.

Marc’s blog post surfaced again in my Twitter feed thanks to the tweet below.

Naval’s take out caught my eye i.e. to whatever extent possible don’t keep a schedule. I don’t seem to recall Marc Andreessen writing that. Though it’s something I am trying to have in my life now a day. So I read the post again. I was unable to finish it though because the first two points drove me into confusion. How can you advocate not keeping a schedule while in the next paragraph promote writing down tasks for the next day on a flash card the night before?

Marc’s no longer on twitter. Even if he was, my odds of getting a reply from him were low. So I decided to stop reading and practice the thing I wasn’t doing i.e. writing down a list of tasks that I would be doing the next day. After seven days I am much less confused, to say the least. Not that I ever doubted anything Marc says but seeing it in action is something different.

The difference between not keeping a schedule and having a list is obvious in hindsight. A schedule keeps you time bound. As an example “I will meditate at 7am in the morning” is a schedule. I will meditate first thing in the morning is part of a list. The first gives you the anxiety of not being able to wake up on time. The latter keeps you in check with little to no pressure as you go to sleep. Of course, making a list is not the point. Getting things done is. Hence it’s important to take the point in entirety.

Write down 3-5 tasks that you will do the next day. And then do them.

The other more subtle and yet insanely useful trick behind writing what you need to do the night before is it takes care of your priorities. While it’s ok to let your mind wander, the problem, of course, is getting lost too much into something new. New ideas are exciting. Working on them, however, not so much. Former is a function of heart, latter a function of the mind. Telling your heart what to get excited about does not work. Telling your mind where to focus always works.

The list takes care of the latter so you can have time for the former.

Aside

What’s missing from remote work

I am living in a remote village in Pakistan. And to almost everyone around me, the idea that I am working with a company based in Seattle, USA is absurd. Even more perplexing is my CEO does not go to the office either. He mostly works from home as well. I have this nagging feeling that for six months I leaving an office going job, my mother used to think I have grabbed a lottery. Sooner than later this is going to end (she likes I live with her) and I am going to head back to the city for “real job”.

She is half right though. Me moving to a city, in or outside of Pakistan, is inevitable. But not because I have to but because I want to.

Which got me thinking why? I had this imaginary reason in my head i.e. the city will give me a better lifestyle. On thinking a bit deeper though I realized that’s not the case. For the most part, my lifestyle is exactly what I want. I am just lonely. And that’s not going to change as long as I am working remote regardless of my location. I also realized that I actually have a better lifestyle of living in my hometown. I am living way below my earnings, something I am learning to appreciate. And I get to visit the city every other week to meet friends and enjoy stuff that I can’t find here.

The real reason I have come to the conclusion is that remote work has a ceiling. It’s great for stuff that you can do on your own. But not so much for things that need intense collaboration. I used the word intense deliberately. I think we are at a point where effective project management is possible via tools like Slack, Jira, Asana etc. Most of the problems associated with remote project management are just a hyped up problems of project management itself.

What I mean by intense collaboration is the type of collaboration that you need to start a new company. Or work on a new idea together. Or coming up with ideas, to begin with, while hanging out with friends/colleagues for no reason. And I believe that’s what I want to do. This seems like a very long way to say what Andreas Klinger has summed up in this tweet.

And it is. But I was interested in documenting the process through which I came to this conclusion. Not just because I wanted to write a blog post. But also because I am looking to find a possible solution to this if there is one. It’s important because my real, out of proportion, value to let’s say AngelList is not what Andreas tells me to do but rather in doing things both he and I don’t know I can do. At least not yet.

Thoughts?

Link

How to Get Startup Ideas by Paul Graham

I have read the famous essay more than once. Below is the summary based on my notes. I also posted it as tweetstorm here.

A great idea is:

  1. A problem you have. A real one mind you, not a hypothetical one you invented to fit your model of the world.
  2. It’s something you can build yourself. And few other realize is worth doing.
  3. Great ideas are also organic. They come to you rather you look for them. You just have to become the person who gets great ideas.

How?

1) “Live in the future and build what’s missing.” 2) Don’t think up. Notice. 3) Work on projects that seem cool.

Great ideas have well-shaped markets. Meaning your solution is few people want more of rather than more people want less of.

Once you know you have a well-shaped market, figure a fast path out of it. Few ideas have both characteristics.

You can’t possibly prove if your idea has both. You will know it though. Trust your instincts.

Turn off two filters, 1) unsexy and 2) schlep.

Fear of working on something unsexy keeps you away from working on what you desire.

Unsexy is not as dangerous as schlep. A schlep is mostly an illusion. Building a business is going to be difficult, one way or the other. Dealing with payments was a schlep for Stripe.

And lastly, entrepreneurship is riding a bicycle. You don’t learn by going to school for it. You learn by doing it.

TV Shows I Watch and Recommend

Which TV shows you watched and liked recently is an uprising question in social meetups. I thought it might be interesting to write about it. I was not even a mild watcher till 2 years ago. TV for me has always been sports. And by sports, I mean tennis, pro wrestling (if you can call it sports) and cricket. Alternately, it could be a family get together. By all means, I am new to the phenomena of sitting alone and binge watching.

Things started to change around 2015-16 when I first watched Game of Thrones. Past 18 months have been particularly heavy. Below is the list of TV shows, and some movies, that I liked and recommend. Unlike books, it’s not a comprehensive list.

Game of Thrones: It was the first TV serial I watched. And remains THE show on the list. Not because it’s the best but because I watched and enjoyed it the most. NYT recently released a list of 20 best TV shows after The Sopranos, which I haven’t watched btw. And Game of Thrones didn’t make the list. While explaining why:

But its reputation for spectacle, sexposition and shocking twists overshadows the excellence of its storytelling, which has woven roughly 400 compelling subplots.

I couldn’t agree more. While I do enjoy the spectacle part, it’s the intricate details in its storytelling that make me come back to it again. To a point where I now practically judge people who say they love GoT but only watched it once. It remains the most grandiose show there is. You watch it enough number of times and you realize every dialogue is layered. That is hard, if not impossible, to unpack in a single watch. You have to immerse yourself into its world to truly enjoy it.

Season 4 edges out as my favorite though barely except season 7. Season 7 is my least favorite though/because it’s the most spectacular one. Blackwater (S2E9) had to be one of the best TV episodes ever made. Not just because of war scenes but the psychology that ensues them. Lena (Cersei) and Peter (Tyrion) are at their best in those 60 mins. To my money, they are also the two best actors on the show.

There is another reason why GoT is THE show for me. I love its music. My favorites are the Main Theme, The Rains of Castamere, Chaos is a Ladder, Mhysa and The Light of the Seven.

Friends: Here is a shocking, or not so shocking, disclaimer. I hadn’t watched Friends until last year. And last year I watched too much of it. To be honest I wouldn’t have enjoyed it before since most US-centric jokes would have lost on me. Netflix paid $100M to keep the show for 2019. I guess I am not alone.

It’s the best kind of home TV. Same familiar faces and voices, arguing/discussing their life troubles in a funny way while you are struggling through yours at the back of your head.

All 6 actors are too good on the show in terms of chemistry and delivery. To a point where I don’t think any of them has a comparable second act. Not even Jennifer.

Mad Men: A show most people seem to have missed especially my friends from Pakistan. If you are one of those people and you liked Tyrion in GoT, you will love this. Or should I say you will love Don Draper? It helps if you are interested in advertising. The pilot episode remains my favorite. And so does the end scene.

The show is about Ad Men from 60s who wanted to change and become better persons. It was the women on the show, however, who did change. Like Friends’ cast, I don’t think Jon Hamm has a good second act. For Elizabeth Moss, however, this was just the beginning.

Halt and Catch Fire: The show I liked the most from the first episode (I didn’t like GoT much in the beginning). And I have no idea why no one talks about it especially when most people I know seem to love computers. I absolutely love it. And there is a part of me that lives inside each of the four lead characters on the show.

Joe McMillan is the computers industry version of Tyrion and Don Draper. Still not convinced? It’s one of the three shows recommended by Marc Andreessen.

Rick And Morty: I started watching it because Naval loves it. I did enjoy it but certainly not as much as him.

Breaking Bad: This is arguably the best show when it comes to pace, build up and overall quality of each episode. I heard The Wired comes close but I haven’t watched that. You can’t take your eyes off it. If you enjoyed the thrill and speed of events in GoT season 7, Breaking Bad is the same except for what makes it thrilling is the drama and acting of the people in it. Rather than the dragons and dead people waking up.

Crown: Netflix attempted to pull an HBO with this. And they did pretty well. It’s slow to my taste but hey it’s about the British monarchy. I was reading Gandhi and Churchill when I started watching it first so I seem to have enjoyed the first season better.

Billions: I don’t have many words for it. It’s brilliant. Just watch it.

Silicon Valley: Season 5 was a major let down. The formula that made it hilarious now seems repetitive. Season 1 was the best.

The Last Kingdom: Its Game of Thrones mins the 400 subplots. If you only enjoy the spectacle part of GoT, you will like this. I only watched the first season.

Ozark: You will like it if you like Breaking Bad.

Sharp Objects: Amazing visual storytelling. I enjoyed it but I had to see certain scenes immediately again. The ending will shock you.

Stranger Things: Probably the best Netflix original serial.

House of Cards: I only recommend the first two seasons. I didn’t watch the last one.

Succession: Recommended by Marc Andreessen. Much like Billions but set inside a media empire.

Narcos: Season 3 somehow was just as good as the first two.

Peaky Blinders: I don’t remember much except for the fact that I was enjoying it at the time.

13 Reasons Why: An important topic especially for concerned parents like me. Season 2 was not good.

Fauda: A useful perspective on the Israel/Palestine conflict while you enjoy an action-filled drama.

Black Mirror: Obvious. Though some episodes are meh.

World War 2:

The Defenders:

Jessica Jones: My favorite Marvel character.

Hitler’s Circle of Evil: Brilliant.

Money Heist: Probably the best crime series I watched.

Sacred Games: First Netflix original in India. Damn good.

Little Things: Romantic, light and funny.

Movies: I don’t watch many. Ones I remember enjoying recently are The Black Panther, The Incredibles 2, Fight Club, Warrior, Fahrenheit 9/11, Argo, and Schindler’s List.

Bollywood: The industry is filled with under the hood gems if you can get past the masala romance. Angry Indian Goddesses, Sulemani Keeda, Udta Punjab, Ankur Aurora Murder Case, and Drishyam will blow your mind. Kapoor and Sons have to be Fawad Khan’s best act to date. Others I enjoyed are Braily ki Barfi, Lunch Box, TE3N, Madari, Bombay Talkies, Shahid, A Wednesday and Rajma Chawal.

Book List 2018

2018 was a weird year for me when it comes to reading. I was unable to enjoy/read books that I wanted to read e.g. Black Swan, The Rational Optimist etc. That made me fundamentally unhappy. How come I am not reading books recommended by Naval? Out of frustration, I started reading ones I knew I can finish and hence will make me feel better. Most of these latter books, however, were not fun because there wasn’t anything new for me. My over-reliance on audible for the most part of the year made matters worse.

At the beginning of last year, I was enjoying audio books. Which made me believe that I am better at listening than reading. In hindsight, though listening was just easy. Also, certain books are good for listening e.g. history and topics you already have a grasp but want to expand upon. But for topics new to you, listening is probably not the right format. At least that’s what I learned about myself.

Also, audible subscription allowed me to have any book I want anytime I want to without necessarily paying for it at the moment. Which resulted in I not buying books from local bookstalls. Something I now realize was a constant cause of anxiety. I like buying books just as much as reading them. Sometimes even more. I have lowered my audible subscription ever since and spent the resulting savings to buy some paper books.

With that said, one thing I realized while writing this post is things were not as bad. I did enjoy quite a few books this year. Writing puts things in perspective. Reading is a first world problem after all. And I feel lucky to have it in my life.

Below is the list of books in order of format I read them in i.e. paper, kindle and audible. And are linked accordingly. I am listing books I feel comfortable talking about, finished or not.

The Innovator’s Dilemma I first read it back in 2010. Bought the hardcover version the year before just to put on my book shelve. Picked up out of frustration of not being able to read Black Swan. And for the weekend I was lost in the worlds of disk drives, excavators and steel mills.

Apart from Zero to One, maybe, this is my favorite business book. It’s also the best product management book out there. A core part of a PM’s job is to figure out what not to do. The book has a lot to say about that.

Thinking Fast And Slow Nothing in life is as important as you think it is, while you are thinking about it.

The Origin Of Virtue The combined mass of ants on the planet equals the combined mass of humans on earth. Also, ants are one of the most collaborative species on earth which is core to their survival.

Hit Refresh Satya Nadella on transforming Microsoft. The actual act is much better.

Influence The original work on the topic.

Hold Onto Your Kids You are not your kids’ best friend, mentor or role model. You are their parent. Hold onto that.

Remote

In Spite Of the Gods India (today’s India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Maldives etc) once constituted a third of the world’s GDP.

Don’t Make Me Think Skimmed through again for a work project. Must-read book if you are designing for the web.

How to Fail at Almost Everything And Still Win Big There aren’t many books that are must read for everyone. This comes close.

Pakistan: A Hard Country Best book if you want to understand why things are the way they are in Pakistan. Helped me a lot while deciding to vote last year.

Fearless Salary Negotiation Things you do for love. Kidding aside, this is an important organizational skill regardless of your side on the table.

The Design Of Everyday Things A masterclass on product design. Don’t listen to it. Read it. Here is the Kindle link.

The Startup Of You Things to build your business and your career have an uncanny similarity.

Taking the Work Out of Networking Common sense stuff, well packaged.

Consider The Lobster And Other Essays I like reading or listening to David Foster Wallace.

A Life in Parts The real-life story of Walter White (from Breaking Bad).

Federer and Me Tennis used to be about wrist shots, court coverage, and soft touch volleys. Starting from Agassi it shifted towards power hitting from and behind the baseline. Federer and Nadal, of course, took it to a whole new level. The difference between Federer and other modern players is Federer is just as good at playing traditional tennis as he is at modern.

In a way, Federer connects tennis to its roots. So when he loses you feel like tennis is losing.

The Lessons of History Amazing.

This is Marketing Seth Godin has a message. But it’s repetitive if you follow his work. The book is no different.

How the Internet Happened The initial days of the web aka Web 1.0 are far more interesting than Web 2.0. Complement this with Halt and Catch Fire season 4.

The Courage to be Disliked I can’t recommend enough.

Emotional Intelligence

On power

Man’s Search for Meaning I first realized how minuscule my reading troubles are when I first listened to this. Must read.

American Kingpin The story of Ross (the man behind the Silk Road). Breathtaking.

You Need a Budget I will teach you to be rich, which I read last year, is better.

Long Story Short

Hit Makers A book I should have read instead of listening to.

Small Fry The book I literally enjoyed the most. I came for Steve Jobs stories and left wanting to hear more from Lisa instead.

Gandhi and Churchill The influence of political leaders, good and bad, is only clear in hindsight. While alive they are judged not for who they are but the information bubbles people seem to have developed about them. Yes, information bubbles are not new.

A Guide to Good Life Your best place to getting started with stoic philosophy.

Pre-suasion A followup to Influence. Equally good.

Digital Gold The history of Bitcoin.

Smart Money Smart Kids

All Joy and No Fun

The World of Ice and Fire Westeros before Robert Baratheon’s rebellion. Lots of dragons and incest marriages.

The Conspiracy How and why Peter Thiel destroyed Gawker.

Meditations Time old classic.

The Will Power Instinct

Presence

The Third Chimpanzee

Antifragile The only Naseem Taleb book I finished.

Unstoppable Like Maria Sharapova herself. Often times too good yet more often than not hard to bear.

The One Device Audible is the right format for this book. I couldn’t get through reading it in 2017.

In Defense of Food What you eat is way more than just calories. Also, nutrition is not exactly a science subject.

The Death of WCW The most important wrestling story of the past 25 years.

The God Delusion The book that legitimizes atheism.

Hiroshima

How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen

Resilience Original work on the topic. Much better than Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant’s Option B.

Creative Selection Best product development book I read. It helps if you are an Apple fan.

The Billionaire Raj The story of India’s wealthiest from the 90s and beyond. Mukesh Ambani’s home has a built-in tennis court and a football ground. I wonder who plays over there?

The Story of India Best book on our ancestral history.

Draft No. 4 This will make you write better without necessarily talking about writing itself.

Bad Blood The story of Theranos. One of the best audible books of the year.

The Upstarts How Uber and Airbnb conquered the world. Better read it.

Just Kids Two kids turned artists living in NY without much cash. You can’t ask for a better story.

On Working Less and Other Productivity Ideas from Twitter

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Ryan Hover posted a question on Twitter asking what’s your favorite productivity hack. There are around 300 replies in the thread. And it’s a treasure trove. I will try to summarize the overarching themes here. Be sure to read the thread yourself (here is a nice coffee table book version of it).

I will start with something I am currently experimenting i.e. to be productive by having less work. Being a freelancer gives you room to work with more than just one company. While the time efficiency and resulting money is satisfying in the short run, it kind of gets you in a vicious cycle of hopping from one project to the next. You can’t go deep into any one task. In other words, you start to stretch yourself too thin. I first realized this when I stopped experiencing satisfaction in my work. The only thing keeping me going was money to time spent ratio. And I find that to be a negative sign. I have essentially cut down the number of projects I am working on at any given time.

Cutting down projects is deeply unsatisfying and kind of scary in the moment. The selected deep work has rewards that are obvious only in hindsight. The feeling of not trying hard enough makes you feel like you are missing out. This conversation between Naval and Kapil Gupta could not have been more timely. The argument here is hard work for the sake of hard work does not yield anything. You should work hard only on something that’s truly and uniquely enabled by you. If the thing you are working on could be done by someone else just as good as you, it’s not going to give you any leverage. A good indicator if you are working hard on the right stuff is work won’t feel like work to you. You will feel like playing.

Seemingly Naval and Gupta are not alone. The idea appeared in the twitter thread more than once. While the idea of having less work resonated with me the most, here are some repeated often with my unsolicited commentary:

The easiest way to increase your productivity is to lower your standards. David Allen, GTD — I haven’t read Allen’s book myself. But I have read/heard so much about it. I suspect by lowering your standard he means to work on an MVP version of the task in hand. Most often we are handicapped not by the task itself but by thinking how big it is. To start working, however, we need to think smaller.

No Social Media. Distraction-free environment — I can’t get any serious thinking done if my phone continues to buzz or while multitasking. But these creative tasks are only for 2-4 hours max depending on the day. I can multitask especially the organizational stuff pretty well.

Write tasks on scrap paper and put them in red paper holder. Put them in green when done — This is an interesting idea. Writing on paper is definitely more visceral.

Work as Play — If what you are doing does not feel like work you don’t need to plan around it.

Starting on Saturday and Sunday — I do start work on Sunday. Not anything intensive though. Just small things that can make Monday blues go away to some extent. It works most of the time.

Using social media to advantage. Tweet what you will be working on — I started using Makers a while back. I didn’t use it much. One thing I did notice though was the encouragement aspect from the community despite I being a sparse user. But I can’t generalize that to social media. It might just be something specific to Makers.

Eat, Exercise and Sleep really well — Definitely must for me. If two of these three are missing on any given day, my productivity level drops significantly.

Make Lists — I use them when I am overloaded with stuff to do. But I don’t like to have a preset agenda especially for the first couple of hours of the day.

Most important thing first — Definitely must if you are stressed out about some task in particular. To deal with it though you will have to lower your standard of what completing that task means (tip# 1).

Small goals every day — A variation of lowering your standard. Instead of one big lofty task, have smaller subtasks that you can complete on that day.

Doing the dishes — It does clear the mind.

Wake up early. Utilize mornings — I have mixed feelings about this. I do enjoy mornings but not necessarily because of work.

Have Kids — Kids are anti-bullshit agents. For big matters in life and for smaller ones.

Planning the day the night before — I have little experience with this. It gets recommended a lot.

Do not disturb — Obvious, for creative tasks.

Focus on sharp Razer than Swiss army knife — Building a sharp razor might be doable. There is no way you can make a Swiss army knife on any given day. Again, lower your standards.

Bose QC35s — Amazingly, I have never tried Noise Cancelling headphones as yet.

Being away from work when you are not working — If you are thinking about work while trying to do something else, it’s normally a sign of unfinished task. Finish that. The other way around is also true. That’s probably the reason I feel closer to work-life harmony promoted by Jeff Bezos compared to work-life balance. I find my mind to be too fragile to follow the arithmetics implied by balance.

Brain.fm — Haven’t tried as yet. I do listen to GoT music over and over. But not all the time.

Make Bed in the morning — A habit I learned from Tim Ferris. It gives you a sense of accomplishment within the first few mins of waking up. I feel off now when I don’t do it.

Going office early — When I used to have an office, I liked to go there before everyone else. And it did help.

Remote Work — I don’t know if being remote is more productive than going to the office. But it does save the costs and time associated with traveling to work. Which I can use more productively. I am also the kind of person who likes to organize himself so it does suit me better. But I know people for whom managing home office is a nightmare.

Sleep after lunchtime for 30 mins — Nap refreshes my mind every time. Problem with me is I can’t nap that easily.

Remote Work — I don’t know if being remote is more productive than going to an office. But it does save the costs and time associated with traveling to work. Which I can use more productively. I am also the kind of person who likes to organize himself so it does suit me better. But I know people for whom managing home office is a nightmare